a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
