I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Are my feet made of real feet?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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