sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
