Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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