go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
