he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
