cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
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Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
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The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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