I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
