Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
