Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
