...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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