Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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