he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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