all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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