i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
