Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
