Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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