hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize