Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
