This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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