I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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