She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
