i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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