Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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