What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
