dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
