Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
