Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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