Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
