haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
