It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
