Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize