I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
