problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
