I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
