im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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