Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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