i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
