i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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