I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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