You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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