names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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