Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
