I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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