I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
