I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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