yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
