Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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