I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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