Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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