Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
