We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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