I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize