I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
